The Unreal Feeling: Modern Anxiety and the Wisdom of Impermanence
In today's fast-paced world, modern life is increasingly mediated through digital applications for critical areas such as education, employment, grants, visas, and various opportunities. Individuals often invest months, if not years, of dedicated effort into pursuing a single outcome, pouring their hopes and energies into a specific goal. However, the culmination of this journey is frequently a brief, impersonal message—a notification that the opportunity will not proceed. On the surface, this event might seem minor, but its psychological impact can be profound and far-reaching. It is not merely a plan that collapses; it is a sense of direction that shatters, leaving many feeling adrift in a sea of uncertainty.
The Psychological Toll of Rejection
After experiencing a series of such moments, numerous people report a distinct and unsettling feeling: not outright anger, nor even deep sadness, but a pervasive sense of disorientation. The mental picture they had been living with—a vision of their future path—no longer aligns with reality. The future does not necessarily appear negative; instead, it becomes undefined, blurry, and unpredictable. This shift can trigger anxiety and a loss of identity, as modern society often ties self-worth to tangible outcomes like admission letters, job titles, recognitions, and milestones. When these markers fail to materialize, individuals may interpret the result as a personal verdict rather than a circumstantial decision influenced by factors beyond their control, such as timing, competition, institutional priorities, or simple chance.
Poetic Insights from Ghani Khan
A Pashto ghazal, often attributed to the renowned poet Ghani Khan, captures this experience with striking precision and emotional depth. The refrain poignantly states: رنګ دروغ، خوشبو دروغ، رڼا دروغ (Rang darogh, khushbo darogh, rana darogh), which translates to "Colour is fleeting, fragrance is fleeting, light is fleeting." This is followed by the line: ښکاري راته هر څه نن سبا دروغ (Khkari rata har sa nan saba darogh), meaning "These days, everything appears unreal to me." The word darogh literally translates as "false," but in its poetic usage, it points to impermanence rather than deception. The poet is not asserting that life is meaningless; instead, he is describing the moment when a person realizes that what appeared stable and permanent was always subject to change and flux.
Cross-Cultural Perspectives on Impermanence
This insight into the transient nature of existence is not confined to one tradition but appears across various philosophical and spiritual frameworks. For instance, Zen Buddhism similarly teaches the concept of impermanence, emphasizing that all conditions arise and pass away, and that suffering often stems from expecting them to remain fixed and unchanging. Islamic spiritual traditions, particularly Sufi writings, also highlight the fleeting nature of worldly conditions and stress the importance of patience and resilience in the face of changing circumstances. While the language and cultural contexts differ, the core observation remains similar: anxiety and distress grow when we attach certainty and permanence to inherently unstable and unpredictable outcomes.
Navigating Uncertainty in a Competitive World
In a world increasingly organized around competitive selection processes, many people quietly carry a burden of anxiety about their direction and future prospects. The feeling that "everything is unreal" is less a sign of despair and more a natural response to sudden unpredictability. It represents the mind's attempt to adjust to a reality that does not move in straight, predictable lines. The ghazal continues with the lines: نه پسې خفه یمه، نه ژاړمه، وایمه دنیا ته دا دنیا دروغ (Na pase khafa yama, na jarama, wayama dunya ta da dunya darogh), which means "I am neither angry nor crying; I only say to the world: the world is not lasting." This is not an expression of resignation or apathy. Rather, it signifies a profound change in perspective. The poet does not advocate for ceasing effort or striving; instead, he encourages detaching meaning exclusively from a single outcome. Effort remains necessary and valuable, but certainty is no longer expected from the results.
Recalibrating Expectations and Identity
Much of contemporary anxiety may stem from treating uncertain processes—such as educational admissions, career advancements, and migration applications—as if they were guaranteed paths to success. These endeavors increasingly involve long periods of waiting and decisions made by distant institutions, leading individuals to invest emotionally in specific results. When those results change or fail to materialize, the mind experiences not only disappointment but also a sense of instability and confusion. Understanding and embracing impermanence does not require adopting a pessimistic outlook. Instead, it calls for a recalibration of expectations and attitudes. One may continue to work diligently, apply for opportunities, and plan for the future, but without allowing each decision or outcome to define one's entire identity. The difference is subtle yet crucial: a person can still care deeply about success and achievement, but no longer equates a single success with ultimate meaning or self-worth.
The Civic Virtue of Patience
A closed door or a rejected application is rarely a final judgment on an individual's capabilities or worth. More often, it is merely a part of a larger, winding path whose shape and direction become clear only with time and reflection. In an age that frequently measures human value through outcomes and achievements, perhaps the quiet, internal work of learning to live with uncertainty is not a weakness but a necessary form of social wisdom and resilience. A society that cannot tolerate uncertainty and unpredictability may begin to turn against itself, fostering impatience and frustration. Therefore, patience is not only a personal virtue but also a civic one, essential for navigating the complexities of modern life with grace and composure.
